Identity Crisis

In early April, my partner and I were both notified, separately, that we had become victims of identity theft. Fortunately, the fraud was caught before any damage was done to our financial health; however, our emotional health was greatly compromised. While my partner insists that this form of invasion is less traumatic than someone breaking into our house, the residual effects are similar. We have to take charge now and make sure this doesn't happen to us again. We have to file police reports, meticulously comb our credit reports, call creditors we did not solicit to tell them for the tenth time that we did not open an account, and sign and return pages of documents to keep this type of violation from happening again, or at least for the next seven years, which is the limit on heightened fraud alert with the three major credit bureaus.

Meanwhile, a woman who allegedly lives less than a mile from our home, and who has previously been arrested in January for committing the same type of crimes, has not be apprehended or prevented from perpetrating this type of crime on other people. I know that in the greater scheme of things, identity theft seems minor. It's not murder. It's not physical or sexual assault. It's not even kidnapping. But it is a crime nonetheless.

What is particularly irritating and unjust about this whole thing is that the woman who committed these crimes did so very easily. She simply took mail from our mailbox. She used this information to apply for credit with a variety of banks and retail chains through online application processes. Here's where my outrage becomes elevated. Why have banks and businesses made it so easy for people to obtain credit, legitimately or otherwise, via the Internet? I know it is an essential aspect of commerce today. But, there have to be some extra layers of protection and checks and balances in place to prevent people from behaving badly. It should not be this easy to get credit, especially by use of fraudulent means.

And, what will happen to this woman who committed these crimes against me and my partner? How will time in jail cause her to change her ways? There have to be other deterrents and safeguards to change her behavior and protect others. Meanwhile, my identity has been compromised, and I wonder how many more times I will have to prove that I did not do what banks and retails stores say I did in my own name or that I am who I say I am. A complete stranger has co-opted my identity, and she looks nothing like me. Just when I thought I really knew who I was, someone comes along to remind me that I still have a lot to learn.

I side with the bums.

At the I-65 underpass on Wedgewood (Nashville, TN), stood a well-dressed man holding a cardboard sign: "Don't give money to bums. They don't pay income tax." On any given day, this spot is usually occupied by someone who is homeless and hungry, holding his hat for donations. Today the tables are turned, and I find myself wondering who's right and what's wrong with this picture. I usually do not give money to "bums." I pay taxes, and I believe some of this tax money should go to assist those who cannot help themselves: bums being some of those somebodies. But my tax money does not take care of the problem; and with the new federal budget cuts, it will help even less. The hard fact is that the welfare of the poor has never been fully cared for by the government. Charity has always tried to fill in the gaps. That's why I also give to reputable charities. And, on rare occasions, my heart strings are tugged, and I find myself putting a dollar or some loose change into somebody's hat. The well-dressed man with his cardboard protest does not get my vote. I would rather error on the side of being considered a sucker, or even an enabler (in those cases where the money goes for drugs and booze), and give a few bucks to the homeless, poor, and hungry. My conscience is much clearer knowing I tried to help versus knowing I stood in the way of somebody getting a few crusts of bread. Asked to choose, I'd stand beside the bum any day.

Allergy Sufferers Beware

Why is it that people who mind their own business and try to do the right thing are often penalized or inconvenienced because of the wrong actions of others? Yesterday, I attempted to purchase two boxes of Tylenol Severe Sinus Congestion allergy medicine at a local Target for my partner. She suffers from seasonal allergies, and this "over-the-counter" medication has worked the best for her. Because the State of Tennessee limits the number of boxes of this "crystal-meth-producing" medication you can purchase in any 30-day period, I was told I could not purchase this medication because I had reached my limit. When I complained, I was given an 800 number to call for more information. I was very angry about this, mostly because I am being penalized and inconvenienced because others choose to boil this same allergy-fighting medication and mix it with a few other "every day" items to create illegal drugs. Frankly, my being penalized and inconvenienced is not going to bring a screeching halt to the illegal manufacturing, distribution, and use of crystal meth. Those who purchase this medication to create crystal meth will simply find another way to beat the system, like driving two hours north or south of Nashville into another state that does not have such a law, or enlisting friends and crystal meth users to buy the allergy medicine for them. Me, I don't have the time or the patience to play these games. I should not, nor should my partner, be the one to pay the price for others' wrong actions. All I wanted to do was buy a few boxes of an over-the-counter allergy medication for my partner so her nose isn't running all the time, and she can breathe better. Sure, I know, she should go to the doctor and get a prescription. Yeah, that would solve everything.

The Proverbial Speck and Log

Last night, President Bush appeared on national television to attempt a new defense for the war in Iraq. Every time I hear him speak or learn of yet another government debacle, I am embarrassed to be an American and outraged at our country's failed leadership. Hundreds of billions of dollars are being diverted from much-needed public assistance and education budgets to pay for a war that we never should have started in the first place and for which there is no clear purpose. I am not saying that the people of Iraq do not deserve to live in a democratic society without fear of dictatorship or tyranny. All peoples in every nation deserve to live in freedom and peace. That is why I believe our country is doing the wrong thing.

Democracy, freedom, and living without fear of dictatorship and tyranny are not a reality for Americans, especially with our current political leaders, and President Bush tops the list. Our country is meddling in the affairs of others, trying desperately to remove the speck in our neighbor's eye all the while being blinded by a log in our own. We do not practice what we preach at home. How can we expect to achieve justice and peace for others when this does not exist in our own country? Children are starving. People's human and civil rights are trampled in the name of homeland security. Hundreds of thousand do not have access to affordable health care. Social welfare programs for the poor and needy are being chiseled to a nub. Public education is sacrificed for military spending. Yet still our government and its leader insists that we are doing the right thing, even if the initial intelligence was wrong.

These kinds of wrongs cannot be righted with more might for the false cause. We are bankrupting the very foundations of our country, sacrificing the poor and needy, in the name of peace and justice for another country that we forcefully invaded out of fear of stealth terrorism. And now we believe that even though our initial motivation for waging war in Iraq was misguided, we cannot turn back. We must continue to fight to the death, if necessary, and make more sacrifices on the backs of oppressed Americans to convince ourselves, and the world, that we really are doing the right thing. Our country has been straying off track for many years and playing on the fears of the people to support unjust behavior at home and abroad. It is time for these wrongs to be righted. It is time for America to turn from its wicked ways and bring healing to our land. It is time to remove the log from our own eyes; and then, just maybe, we can assist others with a speck or two of their own.

It's about love, period.

I am a Christian and a lesbian. Some would view this as an irreconcilable contradiction. You can't be one if you're the other. You can't be both simultaneously. This is simply not true, at least so far as I understand the gospel of Jesus Christ. As a member of The United Methodist Church, we gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and questioning folk have come under significant, unwarranted attack for loving and living with someone of the same sex. Because we believe in so much of what The United Methodist Church stands for, my partner and I have not given up despite these attacks by our denomination's more conservative members. In the wake of upholding a pastor's right to deny membership to an openly gay man (see story at http://www.umc.org) my partner and I—recently relocated to Nashville, Tennessee—have found a very accepting, welcoming United Methodist congregation that affirms and celebrates who we are as individual believers in Jesus Christ and as a same-sex couple. I do not understand why some who call themselves Christians must make it their full focus of faith to badger those of us, also calling ourselves Christian, because we are different. Of course, the point, they claim, is that we homosexuals are living in sin, and that sexual sin is more egregious than any other sin, e.g., murder, gambling, adultery, drunkenness, greed, etc. Frankly, it seems a huge waste of time and energy to be vehemently debating the scripturally ambigious issue of homosexuality when hundreds of thousands around the world are starving, homeless, and dying for lack of access to basic resources. The Bible seems very clear on how we Christians should respond to these injustices (see Matthew 25:31–46). Jesus didn't say one word about same-sex relationships, but he said a lot about relationships in general. Bottom line—it's about love, period.

Let's Get Started

Welcome to my blog. I am a writer with something to say about what is wrong in this world. It is my hope that through my writing, some of these wrongs may be made right again. I've used writing in my personal life to work through many years of sexual abuse by my father and a high school teacher. While writing cannot erase the scars of abuse or injustice, it can help to heal the deep wounds and bring a sense of balance—or rightness—to otherwise inconceivable situations and circumstances. Because we are all human, and we live in a relationship with one another, there are going to be times and places where we commit big and little wrongs against one another and the natural world. It is our responsibility to try to correct these wrongs, repair brokenness, heal, and forgive. From time to time, this blog may rant and rave without much being set right in the moment. But, hopefully and eventually, through writing these wrongs they will be made right again in some shape and form. Thank you for visiting this blog, and please let us know your thoughts.