Áve María, grátia pléna, Dóminus técum. Benedícta tu in muliéribus, et benedíctus frúctus véntris túi, Iésus. Sáncta María, Máter Déi, óra pro nóbis peccatóribus, nunc et in hóra mórtis nóstrae. Ámen.¹³

Here I stand, day after day, atop this Golden Dome, looking out over a university named in my honor. They venerate, adore, bless, pray to me … all because I was chosen among women to bring the Son of God into the world.

Why do they think I am so special, so blessed? I certainly don’t feel that way. I’m 19 feet tall and weigh 4,400 pounds. Any woman will tell you these are not feminine qualities that get you noticed for the right reasons. To make matters worse, they’ve put this electric crown on my head that glows in the dark.

The students, faculty, alumni and visitors that pass by look up at me and pray to me all day long, every day. They think I have super powers because Pope Pius IX decreed in 1854 that I was the Immaculate Conception. He thought that somehow because I was the mother of Jesus, I must be without sin. Don’t ask me to explain. I don’t think anyone really understands what he was trying to say, but the Catholic Church made me a saint anyway.

I’ve been standing here since 1883. I’m tired; I’d like to sit down and rest for a while. But I’m welded to this Golden Dome. On windy days, though, I’m glad my dress is molded to my body. Otherwise, people could see right up my skirt. That would not be very dignified, but neither is being a perch for birds. I guess no one thought about that when they hoisted me 225 feet in the air.

If I were able to move, I think I’d take Jesus up on his offer. He’s been standing down below with his arms outstretched, begging me to jump for years. I know he’d catch me even though he’s been reduced to a statue, too.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.¹⁴